Table of Contents
Respect is the admiration of a person because they have done extraordinary things or they have impressive abilities. It is important to be realistic in your expectations from your child, and accept that they may not understand respect well enough until preschool age.However, it is best to start early to your child how to manage his or her emotions by setting a good example because your child learns how to behave mostly from you.
Respect is earned, when you earn respect from your child, the child learns self-respect. Self-respect is important because, without it, children lose self-value and stop caring about anyone, including themselves and end up indulging in drugs, addictions, sex, inappropriate behavior and end up being a problem in society. When children are taught the value of respect they become happier, have healthier relationships, are generous, and are respectful to other adults.
Treating your child with respect is one of the best ways to teach your child to respect others. When your child talks to you, try to listen without interruption, showing that you understand their point of view. As a parent, be considerate and kind to everyone around you so that your child can see and learn from you. Your child’s understanding and tolerance for differences become more and more important as they grow into teenage hood.
Being friends with your child takes a toll on your relationship as a parent and takes away the influence that you had on them. It is not your job to be your child’s friend, this will hurt them, be their parent. They have many friends but only have two parents. Parents who strive to be friends with their children are mostly not fulfilled in their own lives, end up sharing information that is not appropriate with the children, and make the children responsible for their happiness. As a parent, try to have your friendships with adults and let your children be friends with their peers, and you will not have the need to run to your children for your social or emotional needs. When a parent is freed of the responsibility of being their child’s friend, theycan better fulfill their parental responsibilities, and allow their children to experience wholesome childhood.
This does not imply that you become harsh, angry, controlling or unkind, it only means doing what is best for your child whether they like it or not. Maintain your power over your child by firmness, keeping values and being consistent, and have a balance between being over permissive and being strict.
In order to teach your child respect, you have to maintain the power that you have over them. You have to be firm and stick to your values even when societal beliefs try to sway you. You also need to be consistent and be clear about what you expect from your children. Avoid giving in or adjusting your limits when convenient. When you maintain your power, you communicate to your children that you are in charge, not dictatorial- especially to adolescents- but balancing between being too strict and being overly permissive.
As you strive to maintain your power, you should also be flexible and show your children that you respect them and their boundaries. Discuss with your children about your resolve to give them an opportunity to bargain with you, which does not imply that you are giving in, but shows your openness toadjusting the limits and expectations you have on your children
Encourage your child to say ‘please ‘and ‘thank you’ as soon as they can to talk, and always say the same so that they can learn from you. This way, they respect others through good manners.
Teach your child respect by appreciating their good behavior instead of focusing on their negative behavior. Try being as specific as possible as you appreciate your child so that they can see that their efforts are being acknowledged.
Overreacting to your child’s bad behavior will make them repeat another time in order to get your attention. Raising your voice when angry also teaches your child that it is ok to shout when they are upset. Maintaining your calmness as a parent is important in teaching respect.
Your child will naturally want to test how far they can cross your boundaries. However, as a parent, you should not expect politeness and kindness from your child all the time, let them feel that it is ok to sometimes disagree with you.
When facing a disrespectful situation, a parent should focus on the circumstance, and find out the reason behind the child’s actions, instead of lashing out on the child.
Punishing your child when he acts disrespectfully may be tempting, but harsh punishments may make them resentful or may encourage them to do so to attract your attention. Do not show your frustration by shouting at your child; try to maintain calmness in order to teach your child that one can handle an unpleasant moment without shouting. You can instead talk about the situation with your child after you have both calmed down, acknowledge how he feels and help him overcome it. Try setting clear limits and be consistent in enforcing them so that your child understands what you expect from him.
When your child violates the respect that you give, then they must be punished in a way that will make them understand the connection between your respect to them and how they have broken your trust. Children must understand that earning respect comes with responsibility, without which, the respect is lost.
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